Cool Clarity

I have no doubt that the loss of our son Gavin was a catalyst to bringing me to where I am now.  That embracing of grief wholely and fully in each moment that it consumed me.  An unlocking of the door to finding what living in a fullness of life ought to be.  That each breath of each moment can be felt, whether sad or glad in these moments is up to me.  As I paint there is a suspension of the thinking mind but not of the feeling in my heart mind.  The place of self enquiry, the reconnection to self.  That initially was guided by some sessions with a wonderful Hypnotherapist and now is an ongoing growth and expansion that is heart and soul spirit lead.  Yeh, it does all sound 'woo woo' as some have remarked, but it just feels so right!  I have found through the reading of my images that the coolness of landscapes, an expanse of icy or snow bound scapes is where a clarity can be found. An absentia of deep emotional response to allow a seeing of what is beneath that pain, sorrow or even hopelessness.  That emotion is to be felt once the source is located, that is the re-witnessing of the emotion with survivors eyes.  A feeling and hearing of a circumstance so it can be acknowledged and accepted as part of the me now.  No longer to define who I am but simply inform.